Do you like it with cornmeal?

We’ve been riding along some nice bike paths. Mississippi headwaters were 80% gorgeous, 20% sham. Hit a great all you can eat blueberry pancake breakfast yesterday. And now, the heat. 99 degrees + 80% humidity + bikes = we are puddles of goo – please send tupperware. Still deep in bud lite country. Mn is the land of expensive camping. So far we’ve only counted 4268 lakes.

Vicarious Update

Hey y’all,

I just wanted to make a quick post since it’s been a little while since Greg has posted. I spoke with him very briefly just now, and he said he made it to Minnesota! I didn’t quite catch the town name, but he’s about 130 miles from Minneapolis, which means about a day and a half of riding. He also said it’s very very hot!

 I’m sure he’ll have a more extensive update soon.

Keep on biking, Greg and Nick!

So, are you guys bums?

Weather finally cooled down, due to glorious string of thunderstorms. Now only 69 degrees. Having a great time counting dead bodies of frogs, mini-weasels, and turtles along the road. Hot tip – DQ provides free ice cream to those who risk their lives chugging hot topping cocktails! Soon we join the bums of the Twin Cities!

Kipp and Sally - super spies and phone prankstersKipp and Sally – super spies and phone pranksters

And then there were three!

Okay, sportsfans – we’re safe and sound in the Twin Cities, wrapped safely in the warm embrace of Zach Humes’ hospitality, which included beer, muffins, late night pizza, and an outrageous 80’s dance remix. Yesterday we rode an astounding 118 miles, beginning with a great tailwind, and ending with cherubs floating high above us dumping 50 gallon drums of rainwater into our shoes. Taking a few days off to allow the bruises on our hindquarters to heal, and to get zach’s steed road-ready. Pictures have been uploaded. Stay tuned for more news!

Three amigos

Had a great time in the Twin Cities, full of great food, good times, lethargy, and kareoke. Humes did a last-minute bike swap to something with more gears. Got a late start yesterday, but still covered a fair distance. Riding through steep rolling hills along river, which are hard, but beautiful. Turns out Zach is part Mac truck. Entertained by lame road rage.

Mr. Zachary HumesMr. Zachary Humes


Yesterday, acted as envoys in the no man’s land between Packers and Vikings territory. Happy 150th to Red Wing,MN. No one worships at the seething maw of the american beast like you. Thanks for all the hills. Excellent soviet beach party. See you in Wisconsin, home of broasted chicken and the “California Burger”- i.e. a burger with lettuce and tomato.

still life w/moldstill life w/mold

Feeling wierd in Madison

Sitting in a cafe, trying to decide if we possess the fortitude to climb back onto our steeds. We may have celebrated our 100 mile ride into madison a little too much. We had a lovely wake-up call this morning from East Madison High x-country team. Spent last few days on sweet bike paths through Wisconsin. Zach has ordered a new knee from Sears-Robuck.

Shop along bike pathShop along bike path

Humes goes on 15-day DL; Men sweat in record humidity

Well, friends, it seems the fledgling career of standout hilltopper Z. Mike Humes has come to a crushing stumble. After several hours of failed emergency roadside surgery, the young man’s clearly arthritic left knee was carted off by a team of backalley winos. Interim manager Pat Corrales made a gametime wisecrack and sent the poor dude down to Chicago in a handcart. Greg and Nick continued to pedal on obliviously, topping their previous ass-busting mark of 118 miles by riding an insane 119 miles into Chicago that very evening. All this and more…

Das Beer II

We’ve hung up our bike shorts for the past fews days in exchange for two fists full of beer. Immediately after arriving In Chicago, we high-tailed it down to ol’ kentucky to Karp’s lake house (“I will name my first daughter ‘lakehouse’ in its honor” – Z. Humes) to spend a few days relaxing in the water, playing cards, and, oh yeah, consuming more alcohol than human beings were meant to. The occasion was Zach’s brother Jake’s 21st, and he will certainly never forget what little he remembers of it. Another BikeBums tip of the day: Avoid Bowling Green, KY at all costs, and most certainly the improper proprietors of the State Street Pub – they have no class. If, however, you do find yourself in that vincinity, make sure to check out the Tuesday night slave-kabobs. We eventually mopped up the television and returned to Chicago, only to resume drinking. Tonight, the karaoke bandit strikes again, and tomorrow Nick and I will resume our eastward crawl.

Went back to Ohio

Successfully navigated through the Mordor that is Gary,IN. Turns out we had less to fear from the fire-spewing towers than from the sinister raccoons. Nick broke the no crashing rule in South Bend, but earned a 9.4 for his recovery. Nick’s Uncle Bill treated us with beds, Bears, and a mountain of spaghetti. Tested our sanity again with another 119 mile day. Lake Erie awaits!